Step One: Meditation

When my spiritual adviser told me to begin with meditation, I told her how difficult it was for me to just sit down at home and do it. There are so many distractions and my mind seems to never settle. Even with guided meditation videos on YouTube or ones that I download from elsewhere, I find it hard to keep the meditation going. Another problem was that I wanted it to be perfect. I am somewhat of a huge perfectionist. If I were to meditate, I would want to meditate for an hour. If I couldn’t then I wouldn’t continue trying to meditate at all.

Thus, I went on Google to search for places around town where I could begin meditating at with the support of other people. The search lead me to the local Shambhala Meditation Center. When I walked in this morning I felt very at peace and was warmly welcomed as a new practitioner of meditation. Before, I used to fear going out into the public and trying new things. But now as I continue to do these things such as join groups and confront fears, I become more fearless and open. The hardest thing is to get yourself out there. My big motivation came to me through a few dramatic life changing happenings. I believe that these happenings pushed me to consider living a fuller life and the choice was mine on whether I wanted to do it or not. I chose to walk through the doors.

So I found today that there is no perfection in meditation. To know more about myself, I must meditate and be comfortable in my own body. What you want is just for your body to relax and have your thoughts settle. The group and instruction helped me tremendously today. I recommend anyone who is interested in meditation to find a local group to see how it’s like.

Spiritual Awakening

empathy
A mural on the corner of C and 3rd Street, downtown Davis.

I never thought of myself as ever being spiritual until I hit 25 years old. Up until then I thought myself as a very emotionally sensitive person or others thought that I needed to see a psychiatrist or go to counseling for my emotional issues whether it be depression or anger. I myself blamed it on hormones but I realized that I seemed to have felt extreme sadness since childhood and unknowingly why. When I was in high school my grand uncle, a Chinese fortune teller, told me with a playful chuckle that I would become a psychic around 25-26 years old. I hardly believed him at the time but on one fateful day at age 25 something inside me said that I needed to see a psychic after experiencing the end of an 8 year relationship with the ex. And so I called to make an appointment and some more fateful things happened: the person I originally wanted to see got sick and I was appointed to another person. That person is now my spiritual adviser. She told me that I was a very sensitive empath, a person who strongly feels the emotions of others. Before that day I had never heard such a thing before or knew something like that existed. She revealed more details about being an empath and myself which led me trust and believe in her. More fateful things happened after that visit: I found true love listening to my own psychic intuition.

Fast forward to today, I am 26 years old and happily married to a wonderful human being. Just within a year my life changed for the better. To follow, my grand uncle recently passed and I experienced some very strong negative energies as I walked into his hospital room. I felt pressure from all around me until my hands started to shake and the room started to spin. Remembering that I kept a dark stone with me, I pulled it out and began praying with it. Only then was I able to ground myself. I left the hospital exhausted with this energy clawing at me and feeling like I could become a wild animal at any moment. I knew that when I got home I would have to burn white sage and cleanse my energy very thoroughly, which worked but left me paranoid for a few days.

After this experience I decided to pay another visit to my spiritual adviser after a year. I wanted to know how I could better protect myself and manage my sensitivity. Towards the middle of our meeting she asked me, “Have you ever thought of becoming a healer?” This question piqued my interest immediately. I’ve always felt a need to help people and how cool would it be to use my gift as an empath? But where do I begin? How do I control this gift of mine? I was told that meditation would be the beginning of my journey. Now that I look back I wish that I had learned more from my grand uncle, but I don’t feel like the time was right for me. He was a great and mysterious healer who traveled the world to help people. I hope to carry on his work in my own way in this lifetime. So I am starting a journey I never could even imagine I would embark on. I’m excited on where it will lead me. In the end I will always give my gratitude to the universe for all these fateful happenings. Life is precious and good things happen. Now I’ve learned to always remember to give gratitude no matter what or from where it comes from, live life to it’s fullest and cast away my fears.

Peace is always beautiful. – Walt Whitman

Flexibility Training

I’m training to become more flexible! As a child, I didn’t have the opportunity to take gymnastics so I’m picking it up now in the form of taking aerobics conditioning. aerobic silks and pole dancing! I’ve been training since May and slowly I am making progress. My splits are a lot better since I started. I found it quite difficult as flexible (and inflexible) as I am already. Another thing I found is that my arms are weak, which really calls for a routine exercise schedule. I hope to post more progress pictures!

A friend took this shot of me stretching at the park. The bridge I can hold for fewer than 60 seconds.
A friend took this shot of me stretching at the park. The bridge I can hold for fewer than 60 seconds.

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